Monthly Archives: December 2012

project 2

So this is how the first time feels like. Anak ng, meron pala talagang “di mo makakalimutan ang first time” syndrome. I was pulling out millions of reasons why there isn’t, and as I get close in believing, there pops out of nowhere the resisting other me, with an effing Yes, yes, may espesyal sa lahat ng una. A thing of its own, some inherent power, just because it is. And this power, for the first two days, or after a week, maybe months, this memory will put on the most stubborn scratches inside your skull, that you know will eventually fade through time and age, but will never be gone. I’m mad at myself for holding on to your Thank You’s, and to that two one-liner SMS, or for simply hoping. This dawn I woke up at 3 a.m. to check if you’ll be at the front of our house waiting for me to go out. I did, drowned by this stupid romantic high, search for you. But I found, as fate dictates, nothing but that mocking yellow street. I had the coldest sleep after. I did not remember my dream after. In the morning, I woke up with the windows ajar.

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